You two are about to become one. Are you excited about it?

If you are not, we understand. In reality, two different lives, styles, and opinions have every opportunity to always disagree, especially when it comes to wedding planning.

The process of planning your big day does not have to become burdensome or put stress on your relationship. You and your Love can use the experience to draw even closer by foreseeing common challenges of event planning and implementing a strategy to avoid the tension.

Above all else, your wedding celebrates the first day of your marriage, and your life together—in all ways, cherish it and prepare for it together.

Always remember why you are doing this

When you reach a point of almost having an argument, stop. Breathe, and remember what is most important— your love for one another.

Encourage and compliment each other during the process. Maybe even write a list of things you love about your wife or husband to be.

Wedding planning is just that— planning.

It’s a job.

On top of your 9 to 5, and grocery shopping, and paying bills, wedding planning is a full-time job. Many couples hire a wedding coordinator because throwing an elaborate event is not easy. Approach this huge undertaking with the right mindset and avoid being overwhelmed with the actuality of it.

Give room for expression

Perhaps you’ve planned your wedding since you were a child and have every detail solidified. Or perhaps your favorite colors are clashing in a cacophony of random ideas. Either way, get alone and write out your ideal wedding, down to the last detail. Know your own heart.

Both you and your partner should write down your ideas separate from each other. Give each other freedom to dream.

Once your desires are expressed, come together. Talk about your perfect wedding ideas.

Listen.

Don’t be horrified that your Love wants to have a horse ride at Munyonyo or a boat-ride to Kasenyi, Use this opportunity to get to know each other better. Listen to them speak about their wedding fantasies, Laugh at the extremely weird ones together, and Learn from when they decide to share an experience.

Dream together

Talk logistics later. Hear each other’s hearts. No moms. No best friends. This is about the two of you, and not your neighbors, friends or close family. Go an extra mile to write a list of your dream wedding.

From your two separate lists, write another combined list. Prioritize the most important parts of your dreams, speak honestly, listen, and remember, first things first.

The Budget Talk

This can be intimidating, but, set a budget before the hullabaloo of planning. Guard against hurt feelings and hashing it out with your service providers. It is very important to share what you financial stand is for the both of you so that there are no misunderstandings.

In the Ugandan context, men are expected to carry the heavier burden of financing the wedding, it is important to share with your spouse so that their expectations are clear from the start.

Remembering why you set your budget will help keep both of you grounded, and also on good terms toward your wedding.

Always have a countdown to your wedding day

Take out your calendars. Count the days ‘till you say ‘I do’. This helps in two ways. First, it is a reality check. Your wedding day might seem far off, but when you realize that it is only twelve weeks away, you start to work towards fulfilling the urgent tasks. Secondly, a countdown helps you coordinate. Who needs to do what? By when? Write it down. Set alarms and notifications. Check in with each other, Make sure you are on the same page. Literally.

Let people help you

There are a few of people, close friends, and family that are more than likely to want to help.

Have people who are willing to help you. Weddings traditionally are for the people, by the people. You cannot pull off a major, multi-thousand dollar event alone. Utilize the people who are willing to help. Hire where you need to. Decide what you want to do and what you want others to do. Then, communicate kindly, clearly, and in as much in advance as possible.

Before you set out to plan your wedding, wedding planning puts a strain on your relationships. Guard yourselves against it. Plan down times. Schedule dates intermittently, with no wedding talk allowed. The wedding is just an event, just a day.

How you learn to handle stress as a couple will affect the rest of your lives.

So, dream. Plan ahead. But expect surprises. Make time for laughter. And never lose sight of the joy of sharing life with the one you love.

Lastly, always remember that no matter how stressful the task of planning might become, bask in the joy of having someone to share your life with. Never lose track of the blessing of having someone to love.